Fair Folk Foul Read online

  Fair Folk Foul

  Fair Folk Book 2

  Sarah Peters

  Copyright © 2020 Sarah Peters

  All rights reserved

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  Cover design by: Tiffany

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2018675309

  Printed in the United States of America

  To Nyx (Goddess of the Night, Mother of Nightmares, Queen of Darkness), thank you for sitting on me and keeping my lap warm, A+ cat work

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Review of a Disaster

  The Filial Daughter

  It Takes Two to Boogie

  Dawn of the Sheep

  Head’s on Weird

  Bad Friends, Good Friends

  Overstaying Our Visit

  Son of a Flower

  A Nighttime Drive

  CORN KING

  To Dance or To Dance

  Tobias, a Table, and a Tail

  Eavesdropping 101

  Stealing from a Baby

  Bee-Bop-A-Doo-Ba-Alakazam?

  Back to Earth

  Monday is for Lovers

  Flight Night

  Dealing with Rage the Healthy Way

  What the Wand Made Me Do

  Acknowledgement

  About The Author

  Books In This Series

  Books By This Author

  Review of a Disaster

  At the age of 17 years and 10 days old, I made the biggest mistake of my life.

  I am not being overdramatic.

  My name is Catherine Eloise Wadell, and I am what some people would call a fairy magnet. Ok, no. Only I call myself that. Moving on.

  The biggest mistake of my life occurred the night of the Homecoming Game, when, having just saved my ex-best friend from being sacrificed to rejuvenate the magical energies of a fairy court, thus incurring the wrath of a freaky fairy queen and half the fey population of Butterfield, MN, and seeing the nerdiest girl in school make out with the most popular football player, an unusual burst of bravery scrambled my brain and I asked Tobias Monday to the Homecoming Dance.

  In my defense, I did not expect him to agree to go with me. He’s got these antiquated, private-school ideas about public school, and these backwards, fey ideas about humans.

  Luckily (or in this case, absolutely unluckily) he sort-of-agreed/didn’t outright turn me down to Homecoming before I found out that the object I’d reportedly stolen from him and promised to return was NOT the bracelet as I’d thought, but some other mysterious object altogether. After I’d tried returning the bracelet and declared my promise met, he informed me I was in breach of our contract and the smile he’d given me had promised an untold number of horrible things.

  Or maybe awesome things.

  It’s kinda hard to tell with Tobias Monday.

  On top of this already no big deal situation, my two best friends absolutely must NEVER find out about Tobias or I would NEVER hear the end of it, I’m not entirely sure Tobias talks to me because he’s interested or if it’s because his fairy queen told him to, said fairies are probably all out to get me now, and I am also, technically, grounded for a month and according to my mother, forbidden from attending the Homecoming Dance.

  None of this stopped Tobias Monday from ringing the doorbell to my house on Saturday at 7pm.

  The Filial Daughter

  As is my way, Saturday evening found me flung over the couch in the basement, feet propped up on the armrest, controller in hand and tongue sticking out the side of my mouth as I battled General Killestroke in Dragon Crusaders. While technically grounded, I'd used my Powers of Deception to lead my parents to believe I was up in my room, when in actuality, I was defeating evil with my dragon flame.

  I distantly heard the doorbell ring and ignored it. I did not ignore it when Erica screamed, “CAAAAAAAAAT THERE’S A BOYYYYYYY HERE FOR YOU!"

  A boy.

  I paused the game seconds before dealing the general the fatal blow.

  No way.

  Like, no way it was Tobias because:

  1)He’d said, “I’ve never been to a public-school dance” instead of “yes, I would love to go to Homecoming with you, Cat, I’ll pick you up around oh, say 7?”

  2) The last words he’d said to me yesterday were, “you are in breach of contract” and I’d replied, “oh crap” and then Finn and Becca had pulled me away to congratulate me on saving Jake and when I’d looked again, he was gone

  3) I didn’t think he knew where I lived

  “Is it Finn?” I called hopefully.

  Erica appeared at the door to the basement. “OMG Cat WHO is he.”

  This alone alarmed me into action. I dropped the controller and sprinted upstairs.

  I’d thought the worst thing that could possibly happen to me this weekend was holding onto Jake Wildern as he’d transformed into a piece of rotting meat as part of the fey ritual

  LITTLE HAD I KNOWN, because the sight of Tobias Monday dressed in a suit and looking absolutely GORGEOUS, sitting on my living room couch with my dad and mom seated across from him was much, much worse.

  Meg lurked in the doorway from the living room to the dining room, and the twins leaned around her. Meg gave me a thumb’s up and thank ZEUS Tobias’ back was turned to them because the way they leered at me was already bad enough without him having to witness it too.

  It was like one of those infomercials where the actors can’t stop spilling their food. Horrible to watch, and it just kept going.

  “There you are Cat,” Mom said, turning to look at me. Dad turned to look at me, and Tobias turned to look at me. Mom gave me a confused, exasperated smile. “Why aren’t you dressed for the dance?”

  “Because I’m grounded,” I reminded her. I barely dared look at Tobias but I jerked my head in his direction. “I’m grounded,” I informed the space over his head.

  Mom laughed.

  Dad laughed.

  Tobias Monday did not laugh, which was good because my brain had already fried all its connections and I was pretty sure I’d entered some strange, horrifying hallucination, brought on by too many hours playing video games.

  Yes, absolutely. This had to be a nightmare.

  “Since when have you been grounded?” Mom asked, more amused than exasperated at this point.

  “Since last Tuesday,” I reminded her, like the good filial child I am.

  Tobias leaned back on the couch and stretched one arm along the top. “I’d suspected you would try and get out of this,” he said, smug as the neighbor’s cat which had successfully tripped me on the porch stairs no less than seven times last summer. With that evil, absolutely wicked and definitely not totally wonderful grin, he added, “you owe me one, remember?”

  Since some fey magic seemed to have wiped my family’s collective memory regarding my four detentions within the past month and my subsequent grounding, I wisely decided against continuing to play the “grounded for life” argument. Instead, I moved onto the next tactic. “I don’t have a dress,” I announced.

  Tobias tilted his head at me, his moon-colored eyes flicking up from my penguin socks and down my hideous periwinkle sweatshirt which had a simpering kitten sitting in a bed of unlikely colored flowers. “You’re not already dressed? I thought this was how public-school students normally showed up to dances.” He waved a hand. “Ni
ce sweatshirt.”

  As a child and a preteen, and really up until last week when Tobias Monday had dived under a table and landed on me, I’d been under the impression that I was attracted to cheerful, puppy-dog like men, the kind of guys who laughed a lot and loved everything.

  I had never, not in a million years, suspected I’d be so into this peculiar, dark-haired, unusually disagreeable dude. He was, in many ways, a total dingus, but I kind of liked it about him.

  I definitely wasn’t just into him because he had a tail in his fairy form.

  Well, like, I was pretty sure it wasn’t just because he had a tail.

  Like 30% sure.

  “Cat! Upstairs, NOW!” Meg charged up to me and grabbed my arm. She snapped at Erica and Ellie. “All of you, let’s go!” To Tobias she smiled and winked and said, “we’ll get her pretty, don’t worry.”

  “I’m sure he’s not worried,” I protested as my sisters dragged me upstairs.

  I am many things, but a delicate feminine flower is not one of them. It’s not to say I dislike girly things (I LOVE SPARKLES) but when it comes to makeup or styling my hair or wearing dresses designed to make me look hot instead of just being comfy, I sort of fail.

  “You can wear my dress from Sweethearts last year, no one will notice,” Meg said, throwing open our closet door. “It should fit you. Erica, you’re in charge of hair. El, you’re on makeup.”

  “Aye-aye, Captain!” The twins got to it, Erica shoving me down at my desk chair and Ellie running to the bathroom to collect her dragon-hoard of makeup.

  “Is he your boyfriend?” Erica asked as she tugged my hair out of its ponytail.

  “I don’t think he actually likes me,” I clarified.

  “Oh please. As if Tobias Monday would show up here if he didn’t like you.” Meg scoffed. She produced the promised dress and held it up with a flourish. It was an alarming shade of magenta and had waaay too many holes and not enough fabric for a normal dress. I eyed it with suspicion.

  “No, I mean, I think he’s just here because I—” I couldn’t tell them that he was a fairy and that I’d broken a fairy-promise I’d made to him. “I kind of…. Lost a bet with him? I think this is revenge.”

  “Yeah, seriously, why would a hot guy like that be into Cat?” Ellie, who is a charming delight, demanded, walking back into the room. “Like, no offense Cat but you’re weird.”

  “None taken,” I said, since Ellie had been telling me (usually via the delicate form of screams) about my weirdness since she learned human speech.

  “Like you’re cute,” Ellie continued, smearing something beige and cold on my face with a sponge, “but he’s like, bad boy hot.”

  “He goes to Silveridge,” Meg supplied. “He’s a senior. And he’s front man and lead guitar for a band.”

  “I thought you liked guys who reminded you of golden retrievers,” Erica said, attacking my hair with a brush.

  I have no idea how she knew this.

  “OK ENOUGH ABOUT GUYS.” I threw up my hands, pushing them away. “You’re worse than a 1960s movie with a girls’ sleepover. I need to know if I can sneak some snacks into the dance in that dress.”

  “They check all the purses,” Meg advised, changing subjects with ease, “but your boobs are smaller than mine, so depending on what you want to sneak in, you can stuff it in your bra and it’ll still look natural on the dress.”

  “Cookies?” Ellie wondered.

  “Leftover chicken from dinner,” Erica snickered. “Just slide a breast in each breast.”

  And they call me weird.

  Fifteen minutes later they pushed me down the stairs and I tottered in high heels, clinging to the wall for support.

  I regained my composure at the bottom of the steps and strode into the living room like a freaking runway model. Not looking at Tobias I airily asked, “You’re still just sitting around? Let’s get going, Monday.” I turned and glided out of the room and gave Meg a discreet high-five upon returning to the hall.

  We all jumped when the doorbell rang for the second time that night.

  Being closest, I pulled it open, and stared up at my soulmate/best friend Finn Brooks, dressed to the nines and holding a corsage. It was orange and yellow and clashed magnificently with the magenta dress.

  We gawked at each other. “What are you doing here?” I demanded as he asked, “why are you all dressed up??”

  I said, “I’m going to the dance,” at the same time as he replied, “I’m here to bust you out and take you to the dance.”

  We stared at each other and both grinned.

  And then I remembered Tobias Monday in my living room.

  Finn and Becca had already discovered that I had a crush, however it was imperative they never find out my crush was Tobias. Even if it wasn’t because Tobias was in the Court of the Winter Falls and Finn belonged to the Court of the Golden Sun (rivals as fierce as Butterfield and Greenville), Finn and Becca had peculiar ideas about the sort of guy they’d approve as my bf, and Tobias Monday did not fit that mold.

  I slammed the door shut behind me and squeezed onto the porch step beside Finn. “Cool, ready to go?”

  “Just like that? Aren’t you grounded?”

  “They decided it was a misunderstanding.” This was a bold declaration, which happens to be my specialty. I looped my arm through his and tried to pull him off the steps. “But I’m in a dress and my hair is did, and what else do you want?” He wasn’t moving. I tried pulling harder.

  “Whose car is that parked in your driveway?” He pointed to the offending car. Presumably Tobias’, given the black, sleek look of it.

  “Some friend of Meg’s,” I lied. I attempted to drag him again. “Are you coming?”

  “Why are you trying to escape so hard?” Finn eyed me with suspicion. “What are you hiding?”

  I consider myself a reasonably talented liar. “I don’t want my dad to see us or he’ll make us stand around for awkward photos. You know how he is. And then Mom will cry, and it’ll just be gross.” I stroked his arm desperately. “Let’s get rolling, c’mon.”

  Finn relented. He cast one final dubious glance at my closed front door before hopping off the porch after me.

  We were not fast enough.

  The door opened and Tobias strode out. “Changeling,” he said in his pleasant voice, the one that sounded like the blade of an ice skate hissing across a rink, “kindly do not get between Ms. Wadell and myself.”

  “Son of a monkey,” I muttered. To Finn I added, “walk faster, I don’t think he can fly when humans are watching.”

  Finn did not walk faster. In fact, he did the opposite and obviously not realizing the kind of danger I was in, stopped walking altogether. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he stared, flabbergasted, at Tobias. I recalled that Finn considered Tobias to be the Pawn of the Devil, AKA the Queen of the Winter Court. Which ok, he probs was. “Why… why is Tobias Monday walking out of your house?”

  “He thinks he’s taking me to Homecoming.” I refused to meet Tobias’ eyes. “It’s all a misunderstanding. I never officially asked him to go with me, and he never officially agreed, and anyway, you invited me first, last week so—” Tobias reached us. He shot Finn a disdainful glance before turning his gaze onto me. “What?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips. “I’m not wrong.”

  His mouth curled in irritation. “Are you always like this?”

  “Always,” Finn and I replied in unison.

  Somehow I ended up hedged between Finn (tall and slender and secretly a mothman) and Tobias (not that tall but darkly alluring and secretly a bat-man) at the doors to the school cafeteria-turned-dance-hall.

  “A real opportunity’s been missed,” I informed them, because my nerves were getting the better of me and I start blabbing when I can’t handle my own emotions. “You could’ve carried me and flown from my house to school. Like the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz.” This reminded me and I pointed a finger at Tobias. “Speaking of monkeys, is your ta
il prehensile?”

  Finn choked on his spit, but Tobias was made of stronger stuff and didn’t so much as bat an eyelash.

  “How is that your business?”

  “Well,” I said, “it’s just that the only monkeys with prehensile tails live in the Americas—not like there are any monkeys in the US, or are there??? But you know what I mean. Is it actually a monkey tail or is it a lemur tail? Or like, a cat tail?”