Fair Folk Foul Read online

  Tobias regarded me for a long moment. I pretended that I was totally chill about his eyes on me while I wore a slinky, magenta piece of cloth which was doing its best to impersonate a dress. I did not cover my bosom, although the temptation was strong. “Why do you care so much about my tail?”

  “She wants to touch it,” Finn said, as if he had any idea.

  Well, ok, he wasn’t wrong.

  “I am a scientist,” I informed Finn, quite frostily. I placed a hand on my chest (only partially to cover my cleavage), “and I have a naturally curious mind.”

  “Scientist my butt.”

  A small, nerdy, hobbit-like person pushed past us. Anna Flores, my ever-charming Chem partner. To my shock and awe and amusement, she was wearing a long blue dress, and her brown hair had been pulled into something resembling an up do. She wore glittery eyeshadow and lip gloss. I may have cackled. I may have tried to grab my phone to take a picture to later use as blackmail, but Finn stopped me.

  “What are you doing here?” Anna rounded on Tobias. She doesn’t like anyone except Jake Wildern, and apparently (unlike Jake and Finn) did not have a healthy fear of Tobias Monday.

  “The Champion asked me to attend this event,” Tobias replied, straight-faced, his tone frosty.

  “Sort of,” I clarified. “I only sort of asked him.”

  “Cat asked you to Homecoming and on a whim you decided to show up?” Anna’s snort was full of disbelief. She turned to me. “He works for the queen, and don’t forget it. I’m sure he’s just here to make sure you end up in a ditch by the end of the night.” She eyed Tobias and stalked away.

  Cool, that terrifying comment definitely did not frighten me, not in the least bit.

  “Please don’t leave me in a ditch with my neck snapped,” I said, plucking at the sleeve of Tobias’ suit. “There are too many witnesses who saw you with me tonight. They’ll know it was you.”

  His moon pale eyes glinted. “You’re more concerned about me being caught than the possibility of you being dead?”

  I waved a flippant hand. “Oh, I’d haunt you forever, I’m not worried about the dying part. You’d never get rid of me.”

  “A strong argument against your murder,” Tobias said, which was maybe(?) a joke???? He held out his arm to me as we reached the cafeteria doors.

  And he stared pointedly at his arm until I tucked my hand into it. I turned my head and gave Finn a helpless look, but his eyes were narrowed, and his lips curved into a suspicious, mischievous smile.

  Curses.

  Operation: Never Reveal Secret Crush to Friends, Codename: BATMAN, was turning into an epic, horrifying failure.

  Because it wasn't like I was already screwed regarding everything else too.

  Just great.

  It Takes Two to Boogie

  I had a lot of questions for Tobias Monday, beginning with “what did I actually steal from you” and ending with “are you really going to slow dance with me or do you have duplicitous reasons for being here?”

  Neither were answered as I capered around the dance floor with Becca and he sat three tables back from the dancing, a plastic cup of water in one hand, and his eyes on me.

  I have a great number of skills, and my excellent dancing is one of them.

  Well, maybe not excellent. Enthusiastic dancing, more like.

  “Why is he just sitting there watching you?” Becca wondered. We were hand-in-hand, twirling each other around to “Shake It Off” like a pair of goofs.

  “According to Owlbear it’s because the queen wants me dead.”

  Becca lifted her eyebrows. The thing I love the most about Becca is that even when she’s surprised, she takes it all in stride, like all along she’d been expecting life to get weird. “What was she like, the fairy queen?”

  I happily told her all about the scariest woman I’d ever met, which took 10 minutes but basically boiled down to “Cruella de Vil but instead of puppies, she wants a fur coat made out of me.”

  “You’d make a terrible fur coat.”

  And there was Tobias, up from brooding at the table, now behind me. With an efficient twist, he pulled my hands from Becca’s and into his own.

  He was not an animated dancer to begin with and went about it more textbook than with any reckless abandonment for the beat, but to this day I stand-by my claim that I saw him shimmy his butt at least twice.

  I laughed when we sidestepped and nearly collided with the group of people dancing next to us and twirled him under my arm before he realized my intention and could stop me.

  He scowled and I spun myself around him with a snort. “Is this how you’re making me pay for not returning your stolen item?” I called over the music. “If it is, I’m cool with it.”

  “This is barely the beginning,” he said, with that promise of untold horrors lurking beneath the surface like a shark circling a surfboard. After Penny Thompson gave me an enthusiastic wave and her date stumbled into Tobias after tripping over his own feet he added, “is this what you humans call dancing?”

  “This is the epitome of dance,” I retorted, not letting go of his hands. He didn’t let go of mine either, and in this way we sashayed into “Can’t Help Falling in Love.”

  Most of the students groaned and fled the dancefloor, but Tobias gave me a look that dared me to let go, and I gave him a look that double-dog dared him to let go, and we ended up with his hands on my hips and mine on his shoulders.

  Being this close to Tobias has historically been known to fry all of my neural connections, but knowing Finn and Becca were no doubt watching my every move, I didn’t turn into a puddle of mush and instead acted like Tobias was just some other shmuck.

  The only way I knew how to deal with shmucks was by making them uncomfortable.

  I leaned close to him (maybe to inhale his scent, shut up he smells great), and said, “I hope you know that in the eyes of Butterfield High, we’re now officially dating.” I tapped my fingers against his shoulders to clarify.

  “Good,” he replied.

  Nope, never mind, brain short-circuited. I almost heard the “phmmff” noise as all remaining brain cells evaporated.

  “Glad we’re in agreement,” I said, dazed.

  He swept me to the side. Everyone else was sort of swaying back and forth, but the two of us were definitely waltzing. I did not know how to waltz. I hadn’t even been aware that I’d recognize a waltz, but there was other explanation for our stately stepping.

  “My queen is not pleased with you,” Tobias said, kindly ignoring the fact that my head had exploded in the last two seconds and he now swept a ghost around the floor. “She asked someone to watch over you, and I volunteered.”

  “That was nice of you,” I said, brain still gone.

  “I didn’t do it out of niceness,” Tobias retorted, that icy, winter wind biting your wrists when you stretched up to scrape snow off the top of your car, tone returning. “I told them you’d broken a deal with me, and I don’t want anyone else getting to you until I’ve made you pay.”

  Oh, he didn’t actually want to date me, right. I remembered now. I shook my head, the single ball of fluff left in my skull floating around aimlessly. “Yeah ok, but there’s no reason for you to drag it out. I mean, you could just make me pay instead of oh, I don’t know, dressing up and making my parents forget I’m grounded for life and taking me to Homecoming and dancing with me.”

  “My queen doesn’t want you punished yet,” Tobias said, his eyes cold. “And if I am not watching over you, someone less loyal than myself will get to you.” He flicked his gaze to the side, towards a sophomore couple nearby. “She’s a fairy, did you know?” His eyes moved behind me and he titled his chin. “So is he.” He spun us and I caught a glimpse of the DJ. “You’re oblivious to the danger around you. My queen requested I keep you alive until she can deal with you herself, and that is what I plan to do.”

  I’m like one of those bears that keeps sticking its hand in a beehive, even after all the bees are pisse
d and stinging. “Can they even do anything to me?” In my airiest, most superior tone I added, “after all, no one in your court got their magical boost last night. Ya’ll soggy biscuits now.”

  His eyes narrowed and because I don’t know better, I decided it was from amusement. “You really have the strangest idea about how magic works.”

  The song ended, immediately followed by “Party in the U.S.A.”

  I lost our silent dare and let go of Tobias first. I didn’t want him to see, but his confirmation of what I’d suspected, that the Court of the Winter Falls was out to get me had freaked me out.

  I gave him a saucy salute and then made a run for it.

  I didn’t even stop to gawp at Jake Wildern and Anna Flores dancing together (unlike everyone around them, who stared in horror), and I bee-lined for Becca, who stood near the drinks with her date.

  “Where’s Finn?” I asked, reaching her.

  She shrugged. “Haven’t seen him since the cha-cha. What’s up?”

  “Is time travel possible?” I asked, clinging onto her arm. “Like, not major time travel. Just need to go back like 24 hours and stop myself from interfering in fairy business.”

  “Fairy business?” Doug, Becca’s date, interrupted with a laugh. Doug played violin and took it seriously, and that was literally all I knew about him.

  “Oh heck off Doug,” I growled, “unless you’re one of them too?”

  Doug looked at Becca in confusion, and she provided a placating smile. “It’s an inside joke,” she explained.

  “Yeah,” I added. “Girl stuff.” I made a vague motion towards my crotch and Doug turned red and hastily excused himself. Becca rolled her eyes but let me pull her to a table in the corner.

  “You’re regretting saving Jake’s life?”

  I pushed my hand through my hair before I met resistance and recalled the complicated bun Erica had mangled it into. “No. I mean, of course not. I couldn’t let him die. It’s just that Tobias—well, everyone really—said how pissed all the fairies are at me. Why aren’t they pissed at him? Like, sorry I’m so good at holding onto gross things! I don’t want to be killed because I saved someone’s life.” I dropped my head and bonked my forehead against the table. “Tobias said the Queen of the Winter Falls wants to mess me up, and she’s stuck him on me so that no one else can get to me first.”

  “Have you talked to Jake about it yet?”

  I lifted my head and gave Jake Wildern a scathing glare from across the cafeteria. Sure I’d saved his life, but I still hadn’t forgiven him for being a jerk seven years ago. Or for continuing to be a jerk for every day the past seven years, excluding the past five. “That dingdong? I haven’t seen him do anything remotely interesting or impressive as a fairy other than look hot. He ‘reportedly’ turned water into lemonade when we were seven, but that could’ve just all been in my head. For all I know, he’s useless at everything but looking good in mirrors.”

  “He’s the one who got you into this,” Becca reminded me. She gave me a quick hug. “You need me and Finn to apply some pressure on him?”

  I scoffed. “As if Finn would.”

  Finn, the peanut butter to our bread and jelly, was in love with Jake, which had long been regarded by everyone else as a massive lack in judgement.

  Becca opened her mouth to say more, but said, “ah,” and shut it instead.

  I looked up. Tobias Monday had found me again.

  “Do you go by Toby?” I asked, as a distraction tactic.

  It didn’t work. “No,” he replied. He sat down next to me. “It’s rude to abandon your date on the dancefloor.”

  “You—you are not my date,” I sputtered. I pointed at him as if it’d make my point truer. “Finn’s the one who brought me this flowery bracelet thing. Corset. Corsage. You’re not my date. You’re my kidnapper. You coerced me into going.”

  “Like you needed any coercing,” Becca snorted under her breath.

  “Quite true,” Tobias agreed, his eyes on me.

  I pushed myself to my feet. “I don’t deserve this abuse!” I grabbed the back of Tobias’ suit jacket, satisfied by the taboo act of rumpling something expensive. “Get up, Spymaster Monday. If you’re going to bitch about being abandoned, you’d better be ready to dance.”

  And so we danced.

  We danced long after I’d abandoned my heels somewhere under a table (I did not find them later but to be fair I didn’t really look that hard), and long after Tobias had shucked off his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his dress-shirt.

  To be fair, we weren’t the only ones. Way more students held off going to after parties, instead keeping to the dancefloor in one surging, massive, sweaty crowd.

  After the DJ played the last song and we all jumped and screamed along to “Cotton Eyed Joe” Tobias let out his breath in irritation.

  “I’d warned you that DJ was fey,” he said, unrolling his sleeves and tucking his arms back into his jacket. “My people and music have an effect on your kind. It is why my band does so well with humans.”

  “Uh huh,” I said, looking under one table for Meg’s heels before deciding I’d done my due diligence searching for them. “Is that what you think when girls crowd around to see you play? Please don’t delude yourself. Girls aren’t enchanted by your magical fey songs, they’re just into your butt.”

  Tobias let out a snort that I almost missed, and quickly turned away from me.

  I bet he was smiling.

  And embarrassed about it.

  Alright, so, yes technically, he was only hanging with me on order of Cruella de Fey, and yes, he thought humans were dumb and public schoolers dumber, but after the way he’d grabbed my hands impulsively as we danced, him slowly losing his inhibitions and letting the music carry him as much as it moved the humans around him, I couldn’t convince myself that he hated me.

  The gleeful look on my face had nothing to do with that revelation and everything to do with a night well spent dancing.

  “Thanks for making my parents forget about my grounding,” I said as we left the high school, him fully dressed, me barefoot. Not wanting him to get too big of a head I added, “But they’ll probably just find out about all my detentions again and ground me all over.”

  “Detentions plural?” he lifted one eyebrow, and it’s an expression that always makes my knees weirdly unable to support my body. “I suppose I’m not surprised, given what I know about you.”

  “None of them were actually my fault,” I assured him. “Well, I mean, other than when I kicked Jake in the nuts. That one was on me.”

  “You—" Tobias lifted a hand and covered his face for a brief moment. I wondered if he was exasperated or trying not to laugh. “I thought you and Jake Wildern were friends?”

  “Former friends. I only saved him because he guilt-tripped me into it. Normally I’m very laissez-faire about the fates of ex-best friends, trust me.” I tapped my chest. “Stone cold heart in here.”

  He lowered his hand, and his eyes were bright with an emotion that couldn’t be farther from his usual disdain.

  My breath caught in my throat and I panicked. I gulped. “My feet are cold,” I announced, because my heart was making uncomfortable squeezing pains, like I was about to die, and I had no idea what to do with how handsome he looked when he wasn’t annoyed. I pointed at the sky. “Can you give me a lift?”